Saturday, February 26, 2011

What did I just say to myself?

Did you know we are talking to ourselves all the time. No, it is not out loud, but it is there none the less. It is like a faint buzz just below our level of consciousness most of the running beneath the radar. At other times however, it seems to explode like someone screaming in our ear. This is why it is so important for us to  acknowledge it’s reality. The next step is to begin identifying it. It is most noticeable when we feel we have failed at something, screwed up “again” or failed at something “again”. There are many triggers for it and we don’t all experience them the same way. This phenomenon is called “Self Talk” and is very Real.  For those who are unaware, it can be the source of tons of Grief in your life.  In the next post or two we will discuss this further. Self Talk can also be Positive and is actually a Great friend when it is Positive.

Below are some tips to help in identifying our unique “Self Talk”.

  Stop! ..... Listen! What are you saying to yourself? The best time to listen may be when you feel you have just screwed something up “again” or failed at something “again”.  

 Is this the first time you have been aware of if? Realizing that it is happening is a huge step.

 What did you say to yourself? It is important to pay attention to what you are saying.

 Was it positive or negative?

The vast majority of self talk is negative. For this reason, can be one of our greatest enemies. It is part of a greater deception we will uncover and discuss in a later post.

Looking forward to seeing you next week and meanwhile....
“What are you saying to yourself”?


Sunday, February 20, 2011

Are you an Alpha Male.......

The term Alpha Male has different meanings to different people or groups. For the sake of our conversation and context “Alpha Male” represents the man who is or aspires to nurture and develop the leader in him. The characteristics we are going to talk about today are not meant to be all inclusive but simply some food for thought. For some of you they will seem a “no-brainer” but for others of you they may seem unattainable. The “take away” from this post is simply to approach life with your personal best as a man, as a son, a husband, a leader or whatever your current role in life happens to be. 

So what are some of those characteristics or traits we might aspire to make part of our lives? I will mention only four here and they are Not in order of importance. In fact I would say that the order of importance will surface for you as you process them and look in “your personal mirror” related to each one. Maybe it would be helpful for you to prioritize them and work on them as you see need in your own life.

 He values others:
One of his important traits is that he values and respects others, men and women alike. He will recognize your achievements and successes. He will acknowledge your input in conversation, relationship or business. While he may at times appear aloof or uninterested, he is none the less focused and listening.....he hears you. In short, it’s just not all about him!

 He speaks with confidence:
While many struggle to speak, pray etc in a group, to another male they may feel threatened by or even to his mate (before whom he may feel inadequate) the Alpha Male exudes confidence. He speaks succinctly, deliberately. He knows he will be heard.

 He is not defensive:
Because he is confident and comfortable in his own skin, he feels no need to vie for the approval of others or to defend his words or actions. When questioned he will answer wisely and softly.

 In a leadership vacuum, he will fill it:
Some men walk into a room filled with people or even a relationship and look around to find the “Alpha Person” and immediately fall in line to follow. They sometimes feel insecure and inadequate when in a situation with a leadership vacuum. Not so with the Alpha. When he enters the room, he becomes one of the leaders if not the leader. He may even have people think he is “The Leader” or address him as though he were even when he is not. He just has presence.

So, the “take away” from this post is simply to approach life with your personal best as a man, as a son, a husband, a leader or whatever your current role in life happens to be.